MerrinDonahue.com

Since I have done absolutely nothing of consequence today, I thought it only fitting that I should offer you this story. Yes, I could indeed comment on the ever-increasing price of gas, the current state of turmoil in the Middle East, even the skewed sense of priorities that our government seems to have as of late. Sure, I could focus on something important like the cure for stupidity, or touching such as Mister Rogers’ legacy, but I don’t really feel the necessity of reliving any tragic news. To that end, I offer you the Women of Starbucks. Now you, too, can enjoy your Toffee Nut Latte along with the vapid gaze of the woman who served it to you. Hey! I step in as a barista sometimes! I could send my pictures! Wait. No. Not only do I not want to see myself naked, I can’t imagine the potential that risque photos of me naked behind the espresso machine, fondling the steam wand, would do for Playboy’s readership. Wow. There are a whole lotta nasty references to be found behind the counter of your neighborhood Starbucks than I ever thought possible.